![]() Two weeks ago, I sat down with a few people working on a project. But after a few months, the pleasure was replaced by shame at falling into the cigarette trap, one of the most tortured traps known in the book. I will admit and I will not be ashamed: I enjoyed the smoking ceremony in an exceptional way, for a short period, guilt-free pleasure, which surprised me and was not characteristic of me at all. One of the most notable spills happened in August last year, when I bought tobacco, filters and rolling papers, after many years of holding out as a social smoker of cigarettes here and there. I got a kick a year ago, which had more and more appendages (deliberately writing in the past tense, in case the universe is really listening as the spirituals claim), and I allowed myself to spill over in all sorts of ways. If Baron Munchausen was resourceful and managed to pull his hair and pull himself and his horse to solid ground, when he realized that they were sinking into the thick mud, why shouldn't I? Now I felt it was time to pick up the pain and uncertainty I was experiencing, the fear of the cost of living and the crash of the economy the astonishment aroused in me by the laws that pass preliminary and first and second readings The heartache for professional and talented women like Ayelet Razin and Liran Avisar Ben-Horin and Hila Hadad-Khmelnik, who are ejected in one way or another from the decision-making table – and to transform the depressing mixture, along with the sadness and anxiety and pain following events on a personal level, into energy that will help me pull myself to a better place. Why now, and why take on two challenges of change at the same time? This week, when most people are concerned about the situation in the country, I decided to implement one of the four sentences that reflect my worldview: Kicking ass is also a step forward.įor months I allowed my sleeping, eating, smoking, and shopping habits to get off track due to proper objective excuses, such as a stressful medical examination, a military operation, a coup d'état, family mourning, and much more. Psychological studies have also shown that when we tell other people about our intentions, the commitment to persevere and the motivation and energy to carry out the action increase greatly. Am I trying to garner likes or cries of admiration and appreciation for my willpower? Of course there are some of these in common, but my main motivation in the public mission statement is to make it difficult for myself to get away with the task. Why is it so urgent for me to update you? This is in keeping with the age of social media, where many (myself included) shout ourselves to know from the rooftops of Instagram and Facebook. I can think of a few other personal habits that aren't the height of pride, but that's enough for me for now. I replied that too much shopping and rolled cigarettes sum up the habits I wanted to change right now. The editor asked me what I would wean next week, and if that too would become a column. On Saturday night, towards midnight, I smoked my last cigarette. Just two weeks ago I wrote here that I am in the process of quitting shopping, and here is again a statement of intent as a column: I quit smoking. ![]()
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